December for most people is a time for reflection, and this year more than ever has given me a time to think of where I was last year.
If you read my last blog post, I’d already mentioned celebration, and COVID has certainly provided a memento of celebration, albeit differently.
But first let me tell you where I was this time last year;
I published my first blog post
I finished my menus and glossary for my books
I created a file to upload onto Draft 2 Digital, a platform for ebook publishing and distribution
I had artwork back from my book cover designer, the amazing Mita Gohel
It has been quite a year. My journey from wanting to tell my story to finally building the courage to write it down, send it to people who read it, who asked questions, helped hone it. Then sending it into the world for all to read it or not. Self-publishing has been tough. I’ve joined groups where authors have hit the best-seller list on launch day. I even found out that one debut author’s husband sent everyone in his firm, free copies of his wife’s book.
A few of my ardent supporters brought my books and left reviews, one of my nearest and dearest commented, “ all these reviews are from friends, they don’t count.”
That hurt, really hurt, a stab wound in an already fragile heart. Anyone who has spent their waking and sleeping hours creating, whether it’s writing, singing, dancing, painting, dreads the moment when their work is seen by others. Besides, the story I’ve published is too close to me. As a parent who has a child with low life expectancy, you are told to write everything down. So when our son was born, and when we had his prognosis. I wrote notes; we kept a notebook to make sense of the conversations with medical professionals. I had no trouble with writing and reading about the medical conditions, the therapies, the exercises. But the problem came when I had to write about my feelings. So when I wrote the book Where Have We Come, it took a lot of coaxing, courage, self-motivation to get it out. To tell people how I felt.
I had a perfect pregnancy, morning sickness, none, high-blood pressure, none, swelling ankles, none, backache, none. Nothing. I felt fit and strong. Our son was due the first week of January, and I was working until New Year's eve. That's how good I felt.
Then a one in million chance, a swollen vein burst in our son's brain, a freak occurrence. Our life turned upside down. Gone were the happy moments, the joyful bundle, the smile on doting grandparents. We were in shock and we pushed our feelings into a bottomless dark pit to deal with what was happening. A sick baby, umpteen opinions, good meaning friends and family, some helpful, others a hindrance. A life of hospital, barely a few hours sleep, infections that took forever to clear. My husband found his way to deal with it, and I found mine. But we worked as a unit, our views almost identical. That’s when I knew I’d found the one, the one written about in the books. What’s all this got to do with celebrating, you're thinking.
I’m celebrating that I have a partner who through thick and thin and believe me there have been many, has the resilience and the tenacity to keep us together. Our path hasn’t always been smooth. Even publishing this book and the events I’d hoped to attend haven’t happened. But I’m celebrating despite the setback.
Reviewers and Book Tour
Instagram Blogger of My Heart Sings Your Song and Where Have We Come Book Tour
I want to celebrate and thank all the readers who picked up my book, read it, and left a review. I’m glad you liked them, your words mean a lot to me. I’ve added some comments from my book tour with Instagram, hop over there to read all the reviews. I’ve also added clickable links too.
If you fancy a beautifully written, modern real life love story of Asian origin, I thoroughly recommend a read of this book. @c.isfor.claire_reads
Saz writes in a heartfelt, evocative manner that touches so many layers… I really liked the feeling of getting to know how it feels like for an Indian to grow up in a different country and yet follow our culture. @syllablesofswathi2 Syllables of Swathi
Reena and Nik’s love for their son Amar is deep and strong and I loved the moments of light and tenderness, though bittersweet. @thebrownbronte The Brown Bronte
..story is written beautifully, and truly reflects the collided cultures of the characters. With the inclusion of a glossary of phrases, and recipes...emotional, romantic, yet convincingly heart-breaking ride. @GNTxREADs
I was also featured by author Reet Singh on her blog, where I talk about the organisation I support and why I cover taboo subjects in the south Asian community in my books. Her latest book Satin and Sapphire is available on Amazon
Celebrating the new norm
I want to celebrate all those amazing people, who ran events, courses through lock down and have helped me learn about publishing and writing. I have enjoyed using the advice and growing as a writer, publisher, marketer, designer. The list is endless.
I’m celebrating how this year has brought many of us closer, through Zoom, Google hangout, Microsoft meets, and social media. We had the best Diwali day, when our extended family joined us from India, USA and UK. This type of meet-up would not have been possible prior to COVID. We’ve all learnt a novel way to connect, let's hope we can continue to keep it going.
But there have been sad times and bad times with the good. I hope you’ve had the time to reflect on your year. I hope the loneliness, anxiety of not meeting your loved ones hasn’t stopped you from finding the good. It’s been sad for many who’ve lost family members and haven’t had the usual goodbyes. It’s been bad that despite the warning from the medical profession, our leaders made light of the health implications of this virus, bad that in Great Britain we have food banks and many people are living in poverty.
Special Limited Signing for two charities - The Asian Circle and The Vishaal Foundation
To celebrate the end of the year, I’m signing some books (limited numbers - UK only) to raise money for two charities close to my heart. The Asian Circle and The Vishaal Foundation. Click on the image to take you to my temporary shop, on my landing page. It’s a worthy cause and you’ll get signed copies for a few pound more than buying in bookshops
The Asian Circle, a collective within The Circle, that brings together UK-based Asian women from all walks of life who have a shared passion and commitment to addressing the issues facing disempowered women and girls in South Asia.
We have successfully seed funded a pilot project amongst the tribal community in Chhattisgarh, India to end domestic violence and empower women and girls.
The Award winning programme created in partnership with Oxfam India and local NGOs, has been adopted for state wide deployment.
The Vishaal Foundation, a Charitable Trust that supports parents and families who have had to endure the excruciating pain that comes with losing a baby or child through miscarriage, neonatal death or other causes. The Foundation holds annual memorial events that enable families to come together to honour and remember their angels in an environment of love and understanding.
To find out how you can help go to their website, just click on the name.
Poetry From Lockdown London
And to end this my last blog of 2020 I leave you with a poem by Sarah Ismail from Poetry From Lockdown London
To the tune of When Pink Is Just A Colour Again, a country song written for Cancer awareness.
When Clapping's Done In Crowds Again
I'm holding my mother's hand
Pet dog's lead tight in her grip
We notice a few people, dressed in rainbow colours
We think how pretty it is.
But it reminds us, of standing here
Before Coronavirus hit
I think of the plans I made last year
Now they're all on hold for a bit
When rainbows weren't in windows
And clapping was done in crowds
Every walk was just for fun
And the sound of cars was loud
Today is one step closer to being like back then
When clapping's done in crowds again
Now we walk on an empty street
Crowds a distant memory
We rub our eyes and take a long look around
We see rainbows held up high and candles being lit
For mothers and daughters, sisters and wives
That are being missed
But my mother is still with me
And I thank God every day
I hold back my bittersweet tears
As we take our daily walk and wait
For when rainbows aren't in windows
And clapping's done in crowds
Every walk is just for fun
And the sound of cars is loud
Today is one step closer to being like back then
When clapping's done in crowds again
When rainbows aren't in windows
And clapping's done in crowds
Every walk is just for fun
And the sound of cars is loud
Today is one step closer to being like back then
When clapping's done in crowds again
Every step is one step closer, in this race we're gonna win
When clapping's done in crowds again.
Read Sarah’s blog - Same Difference
Have a wonderful Christmas, however you choose to celebrate it and see you all in the New Year.